My Last Semester | Graduation Day!
As I begin the year with a fresh start, here's a look during my last semester as an undergrad in college.
From my last post, I was very anxious to graduate. I was so afraid that I wouldn't find a job, that it was starting to affect my work ethic and my mental state. I was only taking four classes this semester, so everything was exactly going how I had planned, but my final research paper (for my capstone class) was putting me in a panic mode every chance it got.
y topic for my paper was about plus-size modeling and since I consider myself plus-size, what better topic. However, I felt like I was running out of time once we started working on it, and when I felt that my classmates were ahead of me by analyzing their primary and secondary sources, I was still trying to do research. I had to talk to my professor several times, and I'm pretty sure I drove her insane which wasn't my intention. While in all my other semesters after transferring to my university, I was so sure of myself, but because this was my last semester I couldn't afford to f*ck it up.
I was starting to doubt myself even though my grades in her class and my other classes were reassuring me, but that didn't help with my anxiety...and eventually, something changed. I'm not sure if it was my professor's advice about my paper (I was putting things off and she told me not to worry), or that I started not to care.
For some reason, I thought that I had stop putting all of this pressure on myself but it was affecting me emotionally, even though I wasn't having my usual breakdowns. I was also focusing on my health because I was trying to get to my weight loss goal before graduation (that post will be coming soon). It felt like a switch had turned off, that pressure was gone and I was starting to get things accomplished. lease understand that even though I say "I wasn't caring", doesn't mean I wasn't doing assignments or turning them in on time...I was, but it was a mental strain just to get from point A to point B.
Eventually, due dates were just around the corner and I felt like I was rushing to write my paper, even though my professor told me I was in a pretty good place. I still wasn't sure about the paper as a whole, so I went to my school's writing center for extra credit (just to be safe). Once the paper was turned in, I had another project that was still due and definitely had to hurry to work on it.
he project was a graphic memoir about a life event that affected me. The class could either draw or take pictures, so I decided since I couldn't draw that I would take pictures instead. However, this also meant that I had to work with people's schedules...wouldn't be the first time but I had like two weekends to work on it. I can say for both my paper and my graphic memoir, I got A's.
I graduated with honors on December 21, 2017. It was the best Christmas gift that I could've ever given myself. The ceremony happened so fast and after that I was having a celebratory weekend. If you follow me on Instagram (@alternativelace) then you saw me turn my tassel, along with pictures throughout the semester from my wood shop session in my art class and my weight loss update. If not, there's a snippet of it below.
All I can say is that, I may not have a job now and I'm sure I'll find one soon (I'm applying to some as I'm typing this), but this is a huge milestone in my life, and I'm proud of myself, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. :D