My Response to "Dear Fat People"
**Disclaimer: I hope that you get inspiration from this post and my story, I DO NOT condone fat shaming or bullying in any way possible, NOR will I do it to others. Not linking this video either because it has a negative effect on others**
Within the last 48-72 hours, there has been a video going around on YouTube to Facebook and Twitter and other social media outlets called “Dear Fat People” made by a “comedienne” named Nicole Arbour. I’ve been sort of offline just trying to enjoy my Labor day weekend with Mimi and my boo Kendall until I saw Amber Riley commented on her FB page about the video. I didn’t decide to watch it until later because I thought it was going to be so terrible that I thought I was going to have a breakdown (whether it would be angry or sad). When I got home yesterday, I watched the video on FB. I sat there in silence until the video was over. As a person who is plus-size, fat, overweight/obese, whatever you want to call it, the video didn’t affect me in any way. I simply chuckled in disgust because this video was not satirical or a joke or even comedy in general. If anyone has watched the video you can tell where she tried to make little jokes about her being blonde or that fat people get to eat “whatever we want” but it was just disrespectful. I went on YouTube later and even this morning to find some great responses from other YouTubers like Nabela Noor, Meghan Tonjes, Grace Helbig, Soundlyawake, Obesetobeast, and Kendall Rae just to name a few (there were a bunch of responses). These YouTubers discussed how detrimental Nicole Arbour’s video was and are trying to help slowly build young people’s self-confidence again; because if someone who has suffered from low self-esteem, depression, eating disorders, etc. and watched that video it could possibly send them down a spiral after they have tried so hard to fight their demons every day.
As a kid around the age of 6/7 years old, I started to gain a lot of weight and my classmates would tease me all the time. It definitely got worse in middle school, where I would go home and would want to cry every day. I didn’t eat breakfast and I barely ate lunch at school. I didn’t eat anything until I got to my grandma’s house after school and made a sandwich or eat her snacks. My grandma would make a lot of comments about my weight, saying it was out of love because she was “heavy” when she was my age and that being teased and bullied is no fun. My dad would make nasty comments about my weight, even my great aunt that I hadn’t seen in years one time made a comment about my weight. Only my mom and aunt hardly said anything and if they did, it wasn’t in a nasty way that I would disregard it. So by the time I was going into high school, my self-esteem was so low I couldn’t take a compliment. I didn’t care how I looked or how I dressed because I thought “what for? I’m fat anyway”. I thought I wasn’t going to make friends, I thought I wouldn’t fit in, I didn’t want to trust anyone because of what happened in middle school. In the end, I ended up making friends but as I was going to transfer to another school the one that really stuck around was Mimi. She was plus-size too and we were very similar in a lot of ways and we became best friends/sisters.
When I transferred in my Junior year of high school, those old fears kept creeping up, my self-esteem was still low but I was working at it. But by the end of the school year, I stopped eating. I would snack on saltines and water while I was at school. My friends would give me some of their lunch but eventually, I would stop asking/taking it. I hid it from my mom and when my aunt had said that we should go on a weight watchers diet, I used that as an excuse to continue my disorder. I started to have really bad headaches and stomach pains. I felt like my stomach was shrinking, eating itself from the inside. I tried not to complain too much so that no one would know anything was wrong. My grandma would tell me I should eat something but I would always tell her “I don’t have a taste for anything” and she would agree with me because she’s a diabetic and her medicine would take her appetite away (still does). But eventually my mom did notice and was wondering why I was having so many headaches and I think I finally told her. At first, she didn’t understand but it made sense to her because she had done the same thing years ago. I had stopped eating for about 2 months but what happened after that was much worse. I had messed up my body so bad that if I did eat, I would feel nauseous and my stomach continued to hurt because it was “growing” again. This would happen for about a year until I would feel normal again. Still, there are times that I still fall into the habit of not eating, or feeling sad about how I look or how much I weigh (lost/gained)…
The reason for why I’m telling my story is because being plus-size/fat/overweight or obese is not easy and it takes time to become healthier or to lose weight. Whether you have a health condition (mental and/or physical) or bad eating habits, losing weight and be healthier is your decision. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE WORTH IT! Granted doctors and your family may make comments to persuade you into making the right choice, but at the end of the day you should only do it for you. If you have kids and you realize you want to see them grow up healthy and making better eating habits than you are right now, let that be your motivation. Or you want to fit in those old jeans from 10-15 years ago, or even lose those freshmen 15, do it! We all have things we need to work on but we shouldn’t allow other people to decide for us. We decide for ourselves, we just have to make sure what we’re doing has a positive effect on ourselves and the people around us.
So to respond to Nicole Arbour…. look you may have thought that your video would be a great idea, but it wasn’t. There’s no magic pill to lose weight or to be healthier. It’s sad that you disabled your likes and comments because you don’t want people like me to tell you how wrong you are. You don’t like “fat” people? Oh well, majority of America weighs more than you. Do you want to start a discussion about obesity? There’s a better way to do it, like have an actual conversation with someone who maybe is “fat” or someone in the medical field, ya know to create an alternative way to be open about this topic. You did this just to gain subscribers/followers? That’s pretty low dude. All I’m saying is that at the end of the day, you wouldn’t want people to comment on how you look or how much you weigh or even the way you talk, so why do it to others?
Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope that you were able to understand my message and you enjoyed the read.